Does your perfectionism make you ill or brilliant? That is a question that I keep having to address. Especially in my practice as a mentor, I see the different permutations all the time. And also their impact. There’s a fine line between healthy and compulsive perfectionism.
I was the perfectionist par excellence. But believe me, perfectionism doesn’t have to make you ill.
Du bist nicht genug
You see it as a compliment when you are called a perfectionist. After all, there is nothing wrong with striving for perfection. It makes everyday life more efficient, better organised and you are prepared for every eventuality.
You’re not enough
However, perfectionism can quickly slide into something negative. Then, certain standards and behaviour patterns become compulsive. You set unrealistic and hardly attainable goals for yourself, and then you feel dejected and a failure if you don’t achieve them. There is constant stress, pressure and often even anxiety, about not being good enough and not meeting your own and other’s expectations.
Obsessed with detail or focused what’s important
As a compulsive perfectionist, you often lose yourself in small and unimportant details. Then, your management sheet quickly becomes a detailed action plan. Just so that everyone can see all the things that must be considered. You avoid tasks that you think you can’t do perfectly. You find ways and means and professional excuses to avoid doing these tasks. Someone who has a healthy relationship with perfection focuses on what’s important and can distinguish this from what is unimportant. Can you do this?
It’s not about the matter, it’s about recognition
As a perfectionist, you often equate your value with your externally visible successes. Often, it’s not about the matter or the process itself, but about recognition by outsiders. Your perfectionism serves as a form of shield. It’s about shielding yourself from criticism or the negative judgement of others. But in doing so, you achieve the exact opposite. Instead of accepting criticism and thinking about what you can learn from it, you feel personally attacked in your sense of self-worth.
Perfect, resilient and free… is that possible?
Someone with a healthy quest for perfection can usually handle criticism much better. Is not afraid of the judgement of others. Is therefore more resilient and free. They use feedback as an opportunity to improve and make further progress. Can you do this?
Test yourself:
Find out if perfectionism is a topic that you want to work on.
Is your quest for perfection and excellence still healthy, or is it already compulsive?
This short exercise will give you insight into your own perfectionism. Review the excerpt of the following statements, and decide whether they apply to you, are partially true or are false:
Foundering and failure is not an option for you. You avoid this at all costs, and you’re extremely hard on yourself if it ever happens to you:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
You must do everything right the first time:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
Criticism feels like a personal attack to you:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
You must do everything perfectly, so that nobody has grounds for criticism:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
It’s hard for you to acknowledge and celebrate your successes:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
When you look at the work of others, you usually see their mistakes and focus primarily on them:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
It’s hard for you to delegate things, because you don’t trust others to do things as well as you would do them yourself:
O applies O partly applies O does not apply
Source: CLEVERMEMO.com and FRANK VOIGT Mentoring – Coaching – Mediation
If some of these statements apply to you, perfectionism is a topic that you should look at more closely.
With the PERFECTIONISM mentoring series, we can successfully transform your perfectionism in one or more areas of your life into a healthy pursuit of perfection and growth. You will be able to lead a healthy PEAK performance life like I do.
Your life is guaranteed to become more stress-free, joyful and relaxed.
Do you think you can achieve this? Then book your free initial consultation.
See you soon!
Frank Voigt